Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
