Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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