omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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