Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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