I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
