can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
worst night to have a conscience
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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