hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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