i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
