Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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