I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
