OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
