Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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