pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
