You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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