i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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