Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
