How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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