mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
