your thong is hanging out like whoa
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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