I wish life had little blips of pornography
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize