i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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