My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
