I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
