That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
