I don't usually arrange sex via text message
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
