I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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