READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
