just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The Olympian is in my bed
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
