I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
