I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
