That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
