chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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