And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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