I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
