i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
