girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i dont even know how to be here
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
