dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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