So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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