I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
