Buhtt sex?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
