i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Randomize
