i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
