Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize