That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
