You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
