i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My bed smells like the plague
A bitchslap is in order.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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