look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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