I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
