We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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