what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
