Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
