Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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