im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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