I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
