You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize