I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize