I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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