i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
