They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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