she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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