My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
