4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
40s are totally the cure
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
