Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
did you just send me my own nude
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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