Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
