If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
