After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize