At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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