so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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