I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
