I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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