This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
