Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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