Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
