just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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