Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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