YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
