i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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