i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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